Monday, May 3, 2010

1 step forward, 2 steps back

OVERCONFIDENCE - Just when I started getting a little too smug about the good progress I was making in my recovery, I took a turn for the worse yesterday. I don't know why, but I've had a definite setback...tongue has been really on fire for two days straight, worse than it's been in awhile, and today I'm getting those old migraine-type symptoms that I haven't been bothered by in several weeks.

Today I'm extremely, overly sensitive to light and sound (keep having to ask my daughter not to talk so loudly - she thinks I'm psycho - when the phone rings, the noise makes me JUMP!). My head really hurts (only on the left side), my teeth feel like a drill is boring into them, even my throat (which has been completely fine for 2 weeks) is burning on the left side, about the middle of my neck.

Obviously, normal daily activities are more challenging on days like this, even looking at the computer screen is tough, and my temper is short with the kids because I don't feel well.

IS THIS A CRUEL JOKE? I'd had a few good days in a row, giving me a false sense of hope. I thought I was closer to 100% recovery than I really am. I thought I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I guess I knew I was due for a setback, but was hoping maybe, just maybe, I'd seen the last of those wicked flare-ups. Wrong!!

This new pain spike could be related to my monthly cycle maybe? That's all I can think of, (hope that's not TMI) since I haven't really altered my regime of medications and vitamins, the weather is warm and sunny, and I haven't had that much more stress, except perhaps for finances, as the co$t of this injury just continues to add up and the lack of paychecks is making my checking account run down....

Adding insult to the injury is the fact that I had so many straight weeks of extreme pain and daily doctor visits that I lost a well-paying long-term contract job (which suddenly became short term after my dentist did a number on me) now, I'm paying the consequences of the lingual nerve injury while being unemployed. It feels like my medical bills are this huge mountain, and I am trying to climb in high heels. The irony is, before this, I never got sick... I literally haven't had even a head cold in 2 years...

Because I have such excellent health typically, I am lucky to maintain health insurance on my own (since I'm unemployed) but the catch is, that insurance plan has a $2500 deductible. Who could have predicted a simple dental appointment could have turned my medical, financial, career and social life upside down to such an extent?!

After having 4 cold laser light treatments, 2 days apart each, I did have a big gap of 5 days. I went today, and will go again in 4 days. Soon I'll have to stop those, too, though, too much money going out with none coming in.

UNCERTAINTY- the problem with this injury is that few people have heard of it, the pain is a constant reminder that you haven't recovered, there is no magical "cure" other than time, and you never really know if you will continue getting better, or if you'll be one of the reported 15% who never actually does recover. On bad days, it's easy to feel like that 15%. On good days, there's more optimism. Right now I have to focus on the fact that what goes up, must come if the pain is spiking now, that means it will come down in a day or two. Let's hope!


  1. some chiros can do cold laser. Where I live chiropractic is covered on my medical so I am covered for 12 treatments a year if I use the chiro.

  2. Thanks Kevin - I did find one who is charging it under my insurance now, so I'm down to a $45 co-pay. Good tip!