Sunday, May 30, 2010

And back to burning again...

The pattern continues of 2-3 good days, 2-3 bad -- repeat. Very predictable, though I naively still keep expecting the good days to stay good and not revert back. Call it naivete or call it positive thinking...I haven't given up hope. I can't.

The various aches and pains about the left side of my face and head are getting better, and I can again do little things like apply makeup over my cheek and bend over to put a towel on my head after the shower, with only a little pain. Still have the lingering soreness of the new root canals, but I've even started carefully chewing on the left side at times - very carefully.

The tongue burning still after nearly 6 months drives me crazy because it is so constantly distracting, and nothing seems to make it go away on the bad days. Makes me feel I have no control over this thing. Blogging about it is a good release, that is one thing I can control. To me, this is really important, or else it all starts to feel out of control, scary, and hopeless. That's not a good place to be.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Shhhhh....

...I'm almost afraid to say this out loud, I don't want to jinx it, but as soon as the uncontrollable fire came yesterday, it went away today. I woke up today feeling surprisingly well...as the day progressed, still good...hmmmm...even on into evening and - wow, this is really an improvement! Back down to rugburned feeling.

Like, I didn't even get relief yesterday after two whole 500 mg vicodin, .75 Klonopin, and a Cosmo cocktail for good measure (the last one suggested by my son, who I think was going to punch me if I said one more time "my mouth is on fire!" I don't drink much these days.) But today - I didn't have to take any of that; I did, because I am testing a theory. I took .25 Klonopin 3x spread out throughout the day, to see if having a stead stream of it would make a difference. But I couldn't tell because I was already having a good day anyway. Won't I feel silly if all this analysis and experimentation is a waste of time, because none of it has any effect anyway.

I did take 2 ibuprofen both yesterday and today for inflammation, which I don't usually take, as well as extra doses of the two homoepathic meds, plus brought back the Alipoic acid/acetyle pill (one), and added one Omega 3 to the mix. Too soon to tell if any of that could really have quenched the fire so randomly.

I am thinking less and less that particular foods (sugar) has anything to do with it, because on good day I can get away with a lot; on a bad day, NOTHING gives me relief, no matter how bland. But I do think caffeine, being a stimulant, is an obvious nerve trigger, so I do avoid that. Other than that, heck if I know!

Up too late again tonight, but at least this time it's not from the pain. 1/2 an ambien is in order.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The burn returns

I'm on fire today, sadly, after some of the best days I'd had since the beginning of this thing. Just another reminder that this isn't nearly over, and may never be. Unfortunately, my discomfort extends beyond the tongue (burning) to teeth and even cheek still aching. I realize that for most people, the tongue seems to be the predominant problem, I wish it was my only one... it is definitely the most unnerving!! The fact my symptoms are so widespread does make me worry more that the trigeminal nerve has been affected, and honestly, no one knows what lies ahead if that is the case.

I have slacked off on the B vitamins and acetyl Lcarnitine as I'm just plain tired after swallowing so many pills in the last 140 days, and stopped the cold laser treatments due to finances. I also haven't done acupuncture in a month, because the relief is temporary and insurance does not cover. I did start taking Omega 3 today but that is one big a** pill to swallow. Haven't had a chance but want to follow up on kritty's recommendation on mega dosing with vitamin C powder, just haven't known where to start, perhaps GNC or the Vitamin Store??

Seems the meds aren't even working at this point, the only real solution is topical benzocaine or Oragel several times daily. Passing this on to those who, like me, may be at their wits end when nothing else seems to work. I'm back to having trouble sleeping because I can't shut the fire off and my mind races.
Suggestions always welcome.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Curiouser and curiouser

To quote from Alice in Wonderland, who I must say I feel scarily related to these days,
"Curiouser and curiouser!” Cried Alice (she was so much surprised)....."And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it."

Like Alice, I'm at a loss for the right words, and wondering how to manage things.Today the feeling is one I can't quite describe, except to say it feels like my mouth is...freezer burned?!

It's as though I've been pressing my teeth into something ice cold all day long, and the entire mouth from tongue to the roof feels...like freezer burn, if there is such a thing. Even chewing on the right side hurts today and my injury is on the left. Hmmm.

Good ol' clonazepan doesn't help at all with this stinging. So the pain, annoyingly constant, and none of my usual remedies worked. I need some new magic tricks for this new kind of pain! It's so distracting, probably because I can get a handle in it - that old control freak thing again.

As those who follow the blog may know, I had initial work on 2 new root canals done recently, only now they aren't so fresh and new, as I've been avoiding dental work like the plague. One has had a "temporary" crown on it since about February (supposed to be on for 2-3 weeks). The other was a re-do of an old root canal - that one still has the initial filler they put in your tooth before the gutcha percha cement type stuff. I have an appointment to finish out that one next week.

So I've been walking around in limbo like this with lots of unfinished business going on in my mouth for months.

What concerns me, for those of you who've got knowledge of root canals, is that those teeth still hurt when I touch them. Even if I just press gently with my tongue. And of course biting down is a very bad idea. Since they've removed the nerves in these teeth, shouldn't I feel nothing by now????

That's the bad part, now, the good:

As opposed to weeks past, I can happily say my left ear, while still highly sensitive, at least no longer seems to give me those stabbing earaches. Out in public I find myself having to dodge stereo speakers. I'm like a grandmother because I constantly am bothered by piped in music in any public place. Is it just me, or is it really TOO LOUD in here?!

I'm taking the fact that my symptoms are changing to be a sign of progress. No, they haven't subsided, but they are...different.
Yet someone reminded me recently that, if you haven't recovered by 3 months, you are quite likely looking at permanent damage.

I, being the stubborn, rebellious sort, refuse to believe that I am just screwed up for life, and am still holding out hope that this is a trend overall, and my symptoms, at 5 months, are ....evolving. I hope the old (crunching glass, etc.) symptoms that have been replaced by new ones aren't just on vacation, til they return with a vengeance, as so often happens

Monday, May 17, 2010

The calm after the storm

The fiery burning of three days ago has quieted down. In fact, I can say that I have felt the best I've felt in the past 4 months these past two days. Am I cured? Hell no! But, I have had a few headache-free days which is critical - those headaches are killer. My throat is mostly fine, my ear is down to probably a 2 in pain, I also have more energy.

The worst still continues to be the "scraped along the sidewalk" feeling on top of my tongue which increases later in the day-evening.

But considering all of these pains were in the 8-9 range for a very long time, I have to say improvement has been made, though slow. I wonder how much is the Pamelor finally kicking in, and how much is just the time factor, with the nerve healing finally coming around. Then there's the homeopathic meds and the light therapy, could that be the key?

The Agatha Christie in me won't stop trying to figure it out. I want to be able to solve this puzzle so no one ever has to suffer like this again. It scares the crap out of me taking my kids to the dentist now, and everyone I know has been warned to not take their dental visits so lightly anymore.

When I think back to the early days of this condition, which I know some don't like to do, it actually makes me feel better to see how far I've come. Those first 3 months were horrific: feeling like my face/cheek/teeth/tongue were in a vice grip, migraines daily, couldn't tolerate any light or sound, literally had to write notes to my kids most nights because I was in so much pain my tongue couldn't take it any more...that was hell on earth.

That is the reason for this blog. With inspiration from Kevin, Imogina, sciental.net, scalpel and sword, and others....I just knew I had to tell my story, in the hopes it might give others who are in the early stages hope and reassurance that things do get better. I just hope one day this story has a happy ending where I announce "guess what - I'm healed! I'm 100% back to normal" I don't see that happening any time soon, but this injury has changed me; I don't have such high expectations any more and have stopped saying "why me".

The positive result has been that I look around and see so much more clearly how much everyone is dealing with some kind of pain; be it emotional, physical, or both. At some time in your life, everyone suffers. And, eventually, we get better, we move on, until the next thing happens. But then we are that much better prepared to deal with it, because now we know we can, we have - and we lived to tell the story.

Many have asked about suing the guy who did this to me. I will just say that the thought has crossed my mind, and is being investigated. However, that won't make my pain go away, and the chances of winning might not be good. The stress of a case is the worst thing, of course, for me in my present condition. So, we'll see. I'd be very interested in hearing about any lingual nerve cases that have been successful for the plaintiff. It's not the amount of the settlement that matters so much as the fact that someone got away with this.

One dentist said to me "it's a risk you take, every time you get an injection". OK, my answer to that is this: every time I cross the street, I take a risk, a risk that a car might hit me. If someone does hit me, even by accident, then flees the scene, accepting no liability - it's called a hit and run, and it's illegal. What my dentist did to me feels like a hit and run. He doesn't admit any blame, has offered no assistance, and in fact, may have even intentionally misled me by telling me I had BMS and "allergies", hoping that I'd be one of the many who recovers rapidly (in a few weeks) and I'd just go away; he'd never have to hear about it again. Only, I'm not most people, and that's not what happened.

My dentist trained at NYU - that is no rinkydink school; there isn't a chance he doesn't know about lingual nerve injuries..this makes me think he was just dodging me every time I called his office. I may never know, and it's not productive to focus on it so much of the time, so I try to avoid it. Still, getting him to at least cover my medical bills would sure feel like justice had been done.

Off to take my meds!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Firing off again

Welcome kritty and thanks so much for your contributions - you have really done your homework! Nice to have you on-board, and hoping you find relief SOON.

Yesterday was lots of stress, and the burn just seemed to build all day long, even after midnight was still raging.

Sometimes morning can be so bad, I'm taking vicodin before even getting out of bed, but then end up with a surprisingly mellow evening. But sometimes, a quiet morning turns into fiery afternoon and evening, lingering right up to bedtime. Lately, on these days, no matter what I do, I can't seem to get any real relief for any length of time.

Does anyone else have the pale, swollen tongue, with teeth marks? I've had several practictioners remark on my tongue, and when I wake it feels like I've been pressing it against my teeth all night long. I asked for a bite guard, but was told to try the Pamelor first and see if it helps.

I am typically anti-meds and this feels like just another case of a dentist turning someone into a junkie. We shall see...I am going to try kritty's suggestions, including the mega-dosing of vitamin C (although when I'd mention this to homeopathic/acupuncture practitioners they poo-pooed it) I am having to increase my dose of vicodin. It can be addictive, and causes side effects like constipation but other than that, pretty mild stuff, as it's mostly acetominophen (Tylenol) in very high dosage.

I observed again the burning may be made worse by sugar and talking (went to a house party), and I had an alcoholic drink. Coincidence? Maybe.

I am wondering why the Pamelor isn't helping yet, but maybe it just takes more time to build up in my system. I'm now on 2/night. It is making my heart beat fast, I feel depressed and listless in the morning. I looked it up and found it's supposed to have no real effect for 14 days but. I'm hoping if I stick with it, things will improve.

I'm still taking homeopathic meds Traumeel and lymphomyosol (sp?)and on my last 15 mg Mobic as antinflammatory. Sick of spending money on and taking meds!!

Hope everyone has a pain-free day.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Odd feelings and new meds

Now I understand, for the first time, what that "rug burned" feeling is on the tongue that I've heard others describe. The tongue feels sort of scraped, and hot, all over, without the sharp clamping or chewing razor blades feeling of the first few months. I am confused about what to do, as the lozenges and gum don't seem to be helping for this type of feeling. My teeth hurt too, as usual, where the root canals were done. With these two symptoms in hand, I met with my Dr. at the orofacial pain clinic - I hadn't been back there in a month because I frankly just coudn't afford it anymore, though they were wonderful and so supportive. Really the only medical professionals anywhere I've found that I trust.

My dr. put me on Pamelor (aka Nortryptilene) a tricyclic antidepresant which I started last night. I'm very against antidepressants, as I can't tolerate the side effects, and I don't want to just be hooked on something to forever numb the pain; if I'm taking something, I want it to be because it helps the pain go AWAY, not just distract me from it.

However from what I'm told, there's no medication that actually does that; the best we can do is to try to make the pain less noticeable while we wait. And wait. And wait. For that day to come when we feel completely normal again.

Medication regime is to start with one 10mg pill at bedtime, working up to 4/night eventually. There are supposedly few drug interactions or side effects at this level, which I was told is below the actual level I'd be taking if it were for actual depression. I'm skeptical as always, trying to remain hopeful as I can be. Anyone taking Pamelor with success?

If you are a lightweight, like me, oversensitive to every little thing, you worry even more about new meds. And since this injury started and I am taking very small doses of Klonopin still, I'm constantly falling asleep at the drop of a hat. For instance, every day around 1pm I get a wicked headache and the ONLY way to cure it is to lie down. Sitting up becomes unbearable. Now, in the old days, I could lie down but never have fallen asleep - but now, I'm out in minutes, and fear oversleeping an appointment or picking up the kids at school. How on earth am I going to work in an office in this condition?

Waiting -wishing-wondering - hoping.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Surprisingly better, and theories as to why

OK, I have NO logical explanation for this, but just so you know, out of the blue, I felt better again today. Yay! This makes no sense, as I had an important job interview that meant a long drive, stress, and talking for 2 hrs straight. Should have been a really bad day, painwise. Did it hurt? Yeah, of course. It always hurts! But, compared to the last week, so much less.

I do think a positive attitude makes a difference. Yesterday I spent mother's day with my sister and her family and honestly, just getting out of these 4 walls and having fun with the kids was enough to help me feel better. Thinking about the injury never actually goes away...probably never 30 mins goes by that I'm either feeling the pain - or noticing that I'm not feeling the pain.

Looking forward to the day I stop thinking about it all the time! That's why keeping busy is good - busy with productive things that make you happy.

When all else fails, and you are just like WTF, why me, when will it ever end, wah wah wah (cue the violins)... I recommend the ridiculously hilarious LOL Cat videos - look them up on YouTube. One of the few things that can get me laughing out loud in my current condition. I don't know why, I just love those funny captions and cat photos.
Let me know what you think!

Thank you to those of you who have starting contributing to the blog - sorry you are here, but so glad you are, too! All of us folks with this crazy burning tongue thing gotta stick together. You are not alone - it is real - a real pain in the a** is what it is - it is a constant distraction and that fact that it is "invisible" to others sometimes only makes it worse. But there ARE people out here who do understand, and do care.
:)

Saturday, May 8, 2010

More coping tips

Here are some of the many ways I've adapted - I don't even think about these that much anymore, they've just become a part of daily life. A lot of this will help those with BMS (burning mouth syndrome) as well.

I use an extra soft baby toothbrush instead of a regular adult version.
I use Biotene dry mouth toothpaste, just about the mildest paste you can use.
I rinse with Biotene dry mouth rinse after most meals; just feels good to remove remnants of food and "neutralize" the mouth again.
I constantly keep room temp water with me - in the car, on the night stand, in my briefcase - everywhere.
For some reason, weak tea often irritates my tongue less than just plain water.

Stick with soft, bland foods, and focus on protein; you'll need it to keep your strength when you don't feel like eating much.
Best bets: oatmeal, eggs, cream of wheat, chicken, turkey burgers, baked beans, mashed potatoes, macaroni & cheese, soft breads like croissants, fruits, cottage cheese, overcooked veggies (soft enough to eat). I can eat Jello gelatin, but for some reason the pudding stings.

FOODS TO AVOID: chocolate, coffee, frozen drinks, fizzy soda pop, garlic, peppers, ice cream, bacon (too chewy- hurts my teeth), OJ, tomato sauce and spicy, salty, fried, or crunchy anything. Yogurt and smoothies bother me too. If you are a big Doritos or Fritos person, sorry Charlie, those are out (I'm not, but pita chips are a favorite - not good).

There are days I know I just have to push through this and say, the heck with it, I'm gonna eat a damn salad, even if I do have to cut it up in tiny little baby bites, and it takes me twice as long as everyone else at the table. I can tolerate Ranch dressing but balsamic vinegar is a killer for the tongue.

Most days, the best I can manage might be chicken noodle soup and mac 'n cheese. Some days my teeth hurt more, some days it's my throat, sometimes it's the tongue burning - the jaw, the head, the ear, etc.... As these change, the foods I can tolerate change too, depending.

What I have to remind myself of is that, as uncomfortable as I am now, I went through about 12 weeks when I couldn't even wash my hair or face without it hurting - this made for many, um, interesting looks. Applying makeup over the cheek area was impossible but it didn't matter, I wasn't going to wear any; I had no social life anyway; my ears and head couldn't stand any noise, couldn't drink alcohol due to the meds, couldn't talk without pain, and couldn't raise my voice above the noise in a restaurant. I still can't go to Costco - I don't know what it is about that florescent lighting and warehouse feeling, but it just makes my head feel like it's going to explode the minute I walk in.

It was too painful to pull my hair back in a ponytail for three solid months, but I can do it now if it's a loose ponytail. I love live music but that's out... just think how much money I'm saving on rock concerts.

These tiny accomplishments like being able to wash my hair again are easy to forget, and important to remember, when you're on the 118th day of pain, and it seems like you're getting nowhere.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Burn, baby, burn

The tongue burning today is as bad as it has ever been. Reminds me of 2 months ago, before I even knew that I had a diagnosis of lingual nerve injury from a dentists's injection, and at the time I didn't have any meds to help. But now I do have meds, and even those didn't help: tonight not even clonazepan could stop the burning, nor salt water rinse, nor honey, nor OraGel, nor lozenges....nothing!!! Scary.

Possible cause is a perfect storm of weather (rainy), to much sugar (birthday cake, etc.), too much talking (volunteered for school field trip today), getting my period...whatever the cause, this just plain sucks. Of course the teeth are aching as well, as always, that is a constant. But the tongue had gotten so much better, and this is a big setback that's a big worry and disappointment.

Probably not a good day for me to be posting on the blog because I don't have anything positive and uplifting to share. Hopefully the next few days will be dramatically better...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Afraid to eat

This is one of those days when I'm afraid to eat, and here's why.... When I woke this morning, I felt ok, but then after speaking with others in necessary conversations, the tongue started really stinging. As soon as I had a chance to take a break, I made some weak tea with honey. That was a big help - I also had a Bee M.D. honey throat drop. Even better. By 11am, I was basically pain-free. Wow! Problem was, I hadn't eaten anything yet, and was starving. It's the weirdest feeling - knowing you need to eat, but wanting to avoid it, because you don't want to change the temporary happy quiet of your tongue.

As it is, my menu choices are already extremely limited, and I'm already seriously underweight. Diagnostic testing at the orofacial pain clinic showed that I feel things twice as much on the left side of my mouth and face as on the right. So every taste, sensation, feeing - from the wind blowing to spicy, salty, caffeinated, or crunchy food - is like SUPER intense and hard to tolerate. Ice cream and smoothies are big favorites but hurt so much now, for some reason coldness is very irritating, so ice cream is out.

Every single meal has to be planned, thought out, bland and boring...add to this the difficulty chewing, and some of the meds I was put on killed my appetite. Put all of that together, and I find myself about 10 pounds shy of what would be considered a healthy weight.

I have been chewing on the right side only for 5 months now. Five months! I'm starting to wonder if my facial muscles are going to permanently change from this. I did notice my left side drooping 2 months ago, and asked the Doc, thankfully Bells Palsy was ruled out. But I started doing physical therapy for my buccal muscle of the cheek/face, and although it's uncomfortable, I think it's helped "reactivate" the left side of my face, muscle wise.

(Nerve wise there's already wayyyy too much activation going on!) So, I finally ate a sandwich and some cold slaw for lunch, but now, of course, the tongue is burning again. Sigh.

Monday, May 3, 2010

1 step forward, 2 steps back

OVERCONFIDENCE - Just when I started getting a little too smug about the good progress I was making in my recovery, I took a turn for the worse yesterday. I don't know why, but I've had a definite setback...tongue has been really on fire for two days straight, worse than it's been in awhile, and today I'm getting those old migraine-type symptoms that I haven't been bothered by in several weeks.

Today I'm extremely, overly sensitive to light and sound (keep having to ask my daughter not to talk so loudly - she thinks I'm psycho - when the phone rings, the noise makes me JUMP!). My head really hurts (only on the left side), my teeth feel like a drill is boring into them, even my throat (which has been completely fine for 2 weeks) is burning on the left side, about the middle of my neck.

Obviously, normal daily activities are more challenging on days like this, even looking at the computer screen is tough, and my temper is short with the kids because I don't feel well.

IS THIS A CRUEL JOKE? I'd had a few good days in a row, giving me a false sense of hope. I thought I was closer to 100% recovery than I really am. I thought I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I guess I knew I was due for a setback, but was hoping maybe, just maybe, I'd seen the last of those wicked flare-ups. Wrong!!

This new pain spike could be related to my monthly cycle maybe? That's all I can think of, (hope that's not TMI) since I haven't really altered my regime of medications and vitamins, the weather is warm and sunny, and I haven't had that much more stress, except perhaps for finances, as the co$t of this injury just continues to add up and the lack of paychecks is making my checking account run down....

Adding insult to the injury is the fact that I had so many straight weeks of extreme pain and daily doctor visits that I lost a well-paying long-term contract job (which suddenly became short term after my dentist did a number on me)...so now, I'm paying the consequences of the lingual nerve injury while being unemployed. It feels like my medical bills are this huge mountain, and I am trying to climb in high heels. The irony is, before this, I never got sick... I literally haven't had even a head cold in 2 years...

Because I have such excellent health typically, I am lucky to maintain health insurance on my own (since I'm unemployed) but the catch is, that insurance plan has a $2500 deductible. Who could have predicted a simple dental appointment could have turned my medical, financial, career and social life upside down to such an extent?!

After having 4 cold laser light treatments, 2 days apart each, I did have a big gap of 5 days. I went today, and will go again in 4 days. Soon I'll have to stop those, too, though, too much money going out with none coming in.

UNCERTAINTY- the problem with this injury is that few people have heard of it, the pain is a constant reminder that you haven't recovered, there is no magical "cure" other than time, and you never really know if you will continue getting better, or if you'll be one of the reported 15% who never actually does recover. On bad days, it's easy to feel like that 15%. On good days, there's more optimism. Right now I have to focus on the fact that what goes up, must come down...so if the pain is spiking now, that means it will come down in a day or two. Let's hope!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Charting your progress

One of the best ideas I ever came across was keeping a pain chart to track your recovery. The reason this is so helpful is because your definition of this is "the worst it's ever been" may change over time. It is VERY easy, on a bad day or pain flare-up, to be terrified, to think "this will never go away!", or "I'm getting worse, not better!", and to overlook the fact that, as bad as the pain is now, maybe it used to be worse. Which should in some way make you feel better about those invisible nails being driven into your tongue. LOL.

OK, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it - there are going to be really bad days, or pain spikes as I call them... but over time, the peaks will very gradually be lower. I don't know if they ever go away completely. I'll let you know when and if it happens for me.

So here's what I did: I developed a very simplistic graph, an X,Y axis, with 0-10 (indicating pain level) going up the side and the date going across below. Every day I indicate the pain level I am experiencing. I have this diagram of mountains that have gone from looking like the Himalayas to the Rockies to lower, gentler mountains, like let's say the Appalachians...for what it's worth, this gives me peace of mind and reassurance that, even though it doesn't feel like it, things ARE improving. It just takes for freakin' ever....

You'd be surprised how something so silly can really help. When I am having a bad day now, I look back and realize how much better "bad" is than it used to be, (how much higher the number was on the pain scale) and it gives me hope that this trend will continue. Though, as I've said before, this recovery is not a linear thing...there are many ups and downs, one step forward two steps back, and many days you'll wonder if it will ever get better. It will.

It's also useful to keep track of what may have prompted the pain result each day, especially if it's a particularly good - or bad- day.... Loud? lots of talking? Stressful day? Rainy? Cold? Windy? New meds, vitamins, or treatments? What you ate, drank? etc... Over time, you should be trending downward, and your spikes shouldn't be as high.

Things have also changed for me, whereas at the beginning I had a clamped feeling on the left side of my tongue, and my left cheek felt constant pressure, as if someone was punching it, and the tongue burned from tip to back along the left edge... now the pain on the tongue is more widespread - all over- and not as severe most days. All of my original symptoms have lessened, while some new ones have appeared. But the new ones aren't as high on the pain scale. Still annoying as crap, but historically speaking, not the worst it's been.

If you try all the vitamins, meds, and alternative therapies I have recommended and don't notice any discernible improvement after 60-90 days, you need to see a specialist, ASAP. The longer you wait, the worse it is, because your brain learns to live with this neuropathy, and comes to think of the pain as normal, instead of no pain being "normal".

Meanwhile, get yourself some Oragel, some gum, and whatever else works for you, to help you cope during the tough times. You will get through this. Hang in there.

Slow Progress is still progress, nonetheless...right?

In order to give encouragement to others, I wanted to report that I've had a few "good" days in a row. Good is a relative term, when you haven't felt normal for a single day in over 4 months, though I wake each morning hoping I'll be back to my old self. (Of course, I also wake each day hoping I'll win the lottery, and that hasn't happened, either!) But things could be worse - people in Haiti woke to found buildings on top of them; people in Mississippi had tornadoes destroy everything they own; people in the middle east get blown up by car bombs; people with cancer are struggling just to stay alive. Things could always be worse. This is vital to keep in mind when you start feeling sorry for yourself.

Saturday was not a good day; I was in a social situation where I had to pretend to be "normal" all day long. I managed to eventually find something on the menu that I could eat (that wouldn't sting my tongue), and sneak into the bathroom to apply oragel to to the tongue as needed, plus quietly chew some berry-flavored gum, which helps the burning. I was able to not seem like a total whack job...but by that evening, I was in pain. I had plans to attend a quiet dinner party with friends (she promised it would be quiet, because she knows how painful it is for me to deal with any noise at all). I had to bail out at the last minute, as I so often have to do, which I hate.

With this injury and its constant pain reminder, I find you have to really pick and choose what is worth the effort and what is not.
>Being able to feel good enough that I can play with my kids and act reasonably cheerful - high priority. Going to a party where I only know 2 people - low priority.
>Avoiding social situations when I have an interview the next day and need to tap into my reserves for strength - high priority.
Finding work that pays well and will allow me to still go to Dr. appts- high priority.
>Listing to live music, formerly one of my favorite things to do - not even an option any longer.
And so it goes.

So, on Saturday, I fell asleep for a nap, and when I woke, my pain meds had worn off, and "hello, agony, my old friend" - I had that horrible feeling of my teeth being held in an industrial-strength vice grip, to the point I just couldn't imagine trying to smile and be pleasant for even 10 minutes with a bunch of strangers.

Napping is something I have never been able to easily do in my 46 years on this planet. But now? I'm down for the count instantly - sitting up - no problem. At a movie - guaranteed. Watching TV in a room full of people - yep, that too. Not sure why this injury is so exhausting, but it may be the effort I expend trying to hide it, or overcome it, that is really what's taxing. I also don't sleep well at night - I can't get comfortable, as I am trying all night to avoid turning on my left side, which is my natural way to sleep.

I haven't been on vacation in forever...even if I could afford it (after this injury and the resulting constant Dr visits and the expensive tests they ordered caused me to take so much time off that I lost my job, and I'm already over $10k in medical bills thus far) I still don't feel up to it. I've become quite the hermit, and I used to be on the go constantly.

I'm being pressured to go to Chicago next month and just can't wrap my brain around it. The thought of the stress and discomfort of a plane flight, in my unpredictable condition (will my head/ear/teeth feel like they're going to burst with that air pressure? I have enough trouble already on days the barometer drops when a weather front is approaching!)

Everything in my life revolves around the injury, the pain, and my ability to control it and stay on task. But I hold out hope that I'll feel better then. There's always hope. There has to be.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Coping with the Pain - Meds and Treatments

Disclaimer - I am not a medical professional, just sharing personal experience and other info picked up along the way.

Everyone I have spoken with agrees that the pain is least upon waking in the morning. The key here, is the nerves being completely at rest. Therefore the goal for pain relief is to be as calm, or as I call it, as "zen" as possible - to the extent that is possible in our modern lives! If only I could sleep all day every day, I'd feel very little pain....but that is not possible.

If your nerve branch is injured, you may find the pain moves around. My doctor compared nerve healing to a squirrel jumping from branch to branch of a tree - when the squirrel jumps, all the branches shake (all the nerves are affected), therefore, you feel pain in sometimes odd places you wouldn't expect. Like the teeth, or the cheek, throat, or ear. So, sometimes you need to take a systemic, or global, approach to pain management.

I have had pains in all of these areas, it varies by the day, or sometimes even sometimes by the hour. Some days my throat burns (only on the left side) especially if I am straining to talk, such as in a restaurant. Typically in my case, it's the teeth, tongue and cheek. For awhile the headaches were truly debilitating, but those have lessened. Now, the teeth on the left side of my mouth feel like they are in an ice bath - that's the only way I can think of to describe it - doesn't that sound delightful? Oh, it is, trust me. Teeth in a vice-grip is a feeling I've also heard people complain about - yeah, it's kind of like that.

Steroids - if you have just been injured, a course of steriods such as Prednisone is typically recommended, but unless used within the first 2-3 weeks of injury, you are S.O.L. I was not diagnosed in time (my dentist blew me off, telling me I just had "sensitive teeth" or "allergies"), so that window is now closed for me. I didn't figure out (on my own) what I had until 10 weeks post injury. I was tested for everything under the sun by numerous doctors, including neurologists at the Cleveland Clinic, but no one ever had a diagnosis, much less suggested injury from dental injection, though I kept saying "but this all started with a dental visit!". Ask your dentist or orofacial pain specialist.

Clonazepan - For the fastest relief of acute burning tongue, the best thing is usually clonazepan (Klonopin). This is a small yellow tablet - you allow to dissolve on the area of burning in the mouth. Then, either you spit it out or swallow it, depending on your Drs orders. It may make you sleepy, so I take 1/2 tablet at a time, scattered several hours apart throughout the day so I can function. This is a benzodiazipene so be aware of the addictive properties, and read up on any med before taking.

I was using 1/2 tab around 2-4x/day. But, as you will see, the nature of recovery is not a linear thing - you will have a few good days then pain spikes for some reason. Stress is a big factor, but not the only one. On the days I have "flare-ups", I increase the dosage of meds accordingly. But then I am in a fog and need a nap!

On a really good day, I only needed it once or twice, usually before a meeting, and at bedtime. Four years after my injury, I barely ever use them, but they're good to have on hand. I may take a 1/2 tab when I have a pain spike that's distracting, maybe twice a week.

Other topical remedies - Oragel, or topical lidocaine or benzocaine. Tastes nasty, but gives immediate relief. The blessed numbness is fleeting but allows you to at least speak for an important meeting or be able to play with your kids, not to mention keep you from blowing your brains out when you don't think you can take the pain any longer. Zero side effects. I carry it in my purse always, and wish someone had told me about this months ago. Recommended.

Anti-inflammatories. Because the nerves of the mouth are inflamed, you will continue having pain until they "settle". Naproxen is often prescribed. For me, this wasn't an option as it made me sick to my stomach. However, I have now been taking Mobic with virtually no side effects (ask for an Rx). In fact, I wish I could take more, but am being conservative and sticking to one 15mg pill per day. They are small and easy to swallow, taken with food, I had no stomach problems.

Anti-depressants or anti-seizure meds- again, to calm the nerves. These may in fact help, but in my case, I have found the side effects to be too great. I have been prescribed Nortriptilene, Lyrica, Zoloft, Elavil, and more...even if my stomach could tolerate it, I literally can't think straight on these meds, and feel like I've been hit by a truck, so work is out of the question, and there are withdrawal consequences. Some people even feel suicidal on some of these drugs, so please read all the warnings.

As for me, I felt disconnected, like I was watching myself in a movie. It just numbs you to life. But these do great things for some people. I tried Lyrica for 3 days; I will say it does help with the pain, as well as lift your mood, but I was, like, totally "baked" - stoned out of my mind - I couldn't drive or work under those conditions!
Gababentin (Neurontin, etc.) is used for nerve disorders such as trigeminal neuralgia and but again, you must consider a long list of side effects. Neurontin is pretty commonly prescribed for nerve injuries in other areas of the body, too. Eventually, I tried Cymbalta at different times of the day with limited success; I gave up after a few months. Hopefully your experience will be better than mine. ;)

Vitamins, Homeopathic, and Alternative therapies:
B vitamins are thought to help with nerve healing
C is always good for everything
A-lipoic acid is thought to help with burning
Acetyl L-Carnitine - another good one for nerves
Hypericum, a.k.a. St John's Wort - for nerve pain, also helps lighten your mood. Taken sublingually. Available at Whole Foods or Vitamin Shoppe, I took for about 3 weeks and it seemed mildly helpful, but not enough to continue when I'm already taking a boatload of other stuff.
Arnica - sublingually (dissolved under tongue) for general healing of any sort. I didn't really think this helped much and the little pellets just annoy my tongue when it is already hurting.
Traumeel - also to calm the nerves though typically used for joint pain for most people. 10 drops 3x/day. Did it help? Hard to say. Zero side effects.

I use Bee M.D. honey drops and Halls Breezes moisture drops to help with dry mouth and stinging, in an attempt to hold off longer between doses of Klonopin. Chewing gum helps, too, even if you just let it rest in your mouth, because chewing often hurts- pina colada and berry flavor seem to help most for me. Stock up on this stuff.

But wait, there's more! I have undergone cold laser and light therapy, taken tons of vitamins, alpha lipoic acid, L-carnitine, and 7 sessions of acupuncture. Prior to this, I had never tried acupuncture; I will say that, though it's a funky kind of procedure, for some reason having needles stuck in you does allow you to relax for awhile, and did help with my headaches. Unfortunately, the results are not long-lasting. But it'll get you through those really tough days.

Exercise is recommended if you can tolerate it, but I must admit, I've spent many, many days barely able to get out of bed. I used to walk 1 mile every day pre-injury; I remember trying to walk about 2 months ago and not even making it past 3 houses on my street, I had to turn around and come home. Now I can make it about 3/4 mile on a good day. Running, or anything aerobic is not possible; the jostling of my head up and down is too painful. Even things that should be so easy, can hurt, when I lower my face down for yoga or pushups, the blood runs to my head and owwww! But blood flow is an important component of any recovery. If you can't exercise, try simple stretching, just make it so you head is lowered no further than your waist.

I used to love to ski, but now I can't tolerate the cold weather - my teeth are throbbing.

Alcohol/Liquor - I have mixed feelings about this one. Many people say a beer or glass of wine helps them relax, therefore relaxing the nerves...but alcohol gives a burning sensation, and everything is stinging already, so not sure if the trade-off is worth it. Though who wouldn't love an excuse to just drink all day ;-) But I seem to notice alcohol makes my teeth throb more. And, now that I have blood sugar issues (unrelated to LND) my drinking has been severely curtailed to just special occasions.

Opiates- not recommended for anyone with family history of addiction problems. I used to take small doses of Vicodin, and eventually switched to Oxycodone, as there is nothing else that really works for the pain in the teeth. I actually break the smallest dose in half, so I can get pain relief but stay awake.

These are controlled substances which you will only be able to get refills for with regular monthly visits to a pain management doctor. So, you'll pay for the visit, pay for the prescription, and have to deal with getting time off work every couple of weeks - doctors in the U.S. are limited to only  prescribe a 30-day quantity. You'll get used to it and may need to increase dosage over time... though not necessarily addiction, you can form a strong dependency. But, there's really nothing else that I find works on this particular kind of pain. It's a trade-off.

Stopping the meds
Just not possible for me yet. To this day I am in pain every day, on a 1-10 scale, 1 being barely noticeable and 10 being excruciating/can't think of anything but stopping the pain, most days now are around a 5-6, as opposed to the 9s originally. But there are brief flare-ups in the 8-range, even after all this time.

My face aches, my teeth hurt, my tongue burns, I'm still very disturbed by any noise and cannot hold a phone to my left ear. I can't rest my chin on my hand. I avoid talking, singing, and going to restaurants or parties, loud TVs, children, video games, dancing, etc... I recently bought ear plugs but found they really weren't much help. Sleep is an issue of course. Every time the weather changes, things worsen. It is a chronic, ongoing situation, but it IS improving, just at a snail's pace.

Surgery - For some people, there is actually something pressing on the nerve, or scar tissue from another procedure, that is causing the disturbance. If the nerve is actually severed, and you're completely numb, this may warrant surgery. If you do opt to have surgery, it is said that best results occur if this is scheduled within the first 6 months after injury. However, keep in mind that surgery is serious business, and can cause other problems. In my case, I was told it could actually make things worse, (though I don't know how it could be worse) and was not recommended.

BTW, I am prone to sharing my own, very unscientific hypothoses, as there is very little research and most doctors and dentists look at me like I'm nuts when I mention "lingual nerve injury". But ask anyone who has it, it is quite real, and quite painful. Thanks to people recanting their painful stories online, that is the only thing that has helped explain what I'm going through, and saved my sanity many times. Please feel free to add your own comments, questions, and theories. Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, this information is from personal experience, and gathered from other sites.

If you have found something that works for you, PLEASE share it here....no comment is too silly or unimportant. You never know when you may be really helping someone.


Will provide more in future posts

Saturday, April 24, 2010

How a simple dentist appointment can change your life

On Dec 30, 2009 I went for a routine dental visit to have two fillings done. I left with a puzzling injury I'd never heard of, which would end up causing me severe pain all over my face, tongue, mouth, and throat, in addition to migraine headaches and earaches, cost me over $10k in medical bills, and cause me to lose my job. It completely obliterated my social life and changed an active, happy, healthy single mom into a chronic pain sufferer who needs to be medicated to get through every day. I'm not the only person this has ever happened to, so I'm writing to share with others, and vice versa. While I may seem down about it (it's hard not to be) I'm really doing much better - trying to stay positive and focus on things that make me happy :)

I didn't KNOW I had a lingual nerve injury for a long time - no one ever told me. I just knew my mouth burnt like heck, to the point where even talking was excruciating, and I was unquenchably thirsty, starting the day after a routine dental visit. Ten weeks later, after my dentist had twice blown me off saying I just had "sensitive teeth" or "allergies", and 5 doctors failed to diagnose me, including neurologists at the Cleveland Clinic, I finally figured it out on my own, through numerous hours spent online researching my symptoms and learning more than I ever want to know about dental anatomy.

I have no medical background whatsoever, I just cared more than they did, and had more urgency because I was in terrible pain. I've attached a link to the Wiki page that illustrates what a lingual nerve is as part of the trigeminal nerve branch...(click the headline of this post for the link).

My Lingual Nerve injury was caused by a "needle stick" - the dentist hit a nerve during a simple anesthesia injection. I do remember just about jumping out of the chair when I felt that injection and signaling to him that I was in pain (which he ignored). Starting the next day, New Year's, I just knew my tongue was on fire, and I couldn't drink enough water, no matter how much. Then the migraines and teeth throbbing started, and it all went downhill from there. I began an expensive round-robin being bounced around to doctors all over town trying to figure out what was wrong with me. No one ever did.

After much internet research, I diagnosed myself with lingual nerve injury, which was later confirmed by the head of the orofacial pain clinic at a nearby University. My dentist still has never admitted to anything. And, by the way, during this time, I also had to endure 2 root canals that he'd missed, which also meant finding other doctors to perform these procedures, hoping that they wouldn't make things even worse.

Burning Mouth Syndrome has some similarities though it's different, but in fact, my dentist misdiagnosed me with BMS (even though I said, isn't odd it would start the very day after my dental visit? And only hurt on ONE SIDE?). He didn't want to admit any liability, but if he had treated me immediately, I might have had a much swifter, more successful recovery. My guess is some people who've been told they have BMS could, like me, actually have a lingual or alveolar nerve injury, not BMS, and don't even realize it. Think about when your symptoms started (after dental work?) and whether it seems worse on one side than the other.

I'm told the odds of this injury happening are about 1 in 100; considering how many dental injections are done every day in the world, that doesn't sound so rare to me. There are many nerves running throughout our mouths that lead into the trigeminal nerve. Nerves branch out from there into most of your head, face, and of course the teeth, tongue and oral mucosa. This can cause:
  • burning tongue
  • throbbing, sensitive teeth (such as to wind blowing, or to cold)
  • feeling like the tongue is clamped
  • many people report "battery acid" or "crackling electrical" feeling on the tongue
  • numbness and/or loss of taste - or, just the opposite, hypersensitivity
  • chemical taste, "chewing tin foil" feeling
  • feeling like you've been punched in the cheek that doesn't go away
  • headaches
  • teeth feeling like they are "on ice" or tightly held by a vice-grip

  • burning throat (on one side only)
  • lingering numbness from novocaine
  • a bruised feeling in teeth, face, or neck (but only on one side)
  • and more
    (feel free to add your symptoms)

    It is thought that this is seriously underreported, so if you have suffered numbness or pain that lingers for weeks or more after a dental visit, please do post here. I've set it up so you can post anonymously if you so choose. Sometimes the Inferior Alveolar nerve is injured. Though some injuries happen from clumsy, imprecise injections with "novocaine" (aka lidocain, articane, septicane, carbocaine, etc...). my understanding is it may even more often happen when wisdom teeth are being extracted (on the bottom).

    If you are feeling burning pain on your tongue and teeth, gums or lining of the mouth and/or cheek, I am sorry for the pain that brought you here. There is already a board called Lingual Nerve Injury Forum, and also sciental.net, which are quite good in their own right, however as usually happens with these things, posts begin to drop off as the injured recovers or just gets so sick and tired of being sick and tired after 6 months or more that he/she stops posting.

    That leaves those of us who are still suffering dangling and looking for hope elsewhere. So I decided to start my own blog. Since there are so few people who understand this crazy condition, I find great comfort in sharing notes and stories with others who are in the same boat, and want to keep it going. I welcome all of your posts and hope you will vigorously participate. Let's try to keep it nice here guys, we are here to support one another, goodness knows we are all dealing with enough pain already...

    I have been struggling with this injury for 4 months now. Some people are lucky; they have temporary numbness (parasthesia) or burning pain (dysesthesia) for just a few days or weeks. But for some, the pain just continues 24x7 for months on end - some even report still not feeling normal after many years. 
    Already I've made it through the worst part, when I wanted to end it all rather than go through another day of this Hell on earth. It is getting better, but I still never feel normal - not for one stinkin' day...Maybe for a few hours when I first wake up, til I start eating and talking.

    Since nerves heal exceedingly slowly (1mm per day is what I'm told) there is no telling just how long til you're better - assuming you are one of the 85% that makes a full recovery. If you see signs of recovery within the first few months, your chances of recovery are said to be better. 

    You can become very depressed and anti-social with this thing, since talking makes it much worse and many have even lost their jobs because of the pain, exhaustion and numerous doctor visits (me included). That's one of the things that makes a blog so critical - we may not be able to talk very well, but we can write, dammit!!

    If you've already recovered, or think you may have this injury but aren't sure, please share your story- including treatments you used and how long it took - whatever you think might help someone who is still in the trenches. Share with others and warn anyone who's going to the dentist.

    This injury can happen any time a dentist or oral surgeon doesn't take proper care. Everyone's anatomy is different, so the nerves aren't always in exactly the same place, but dentists know this, and are taught in dental school how to handle this and to react when a patient complains because something may have occurred to injure the nerve. However, in my case, my appointment was on the last day of the year, and it was a packed house, with everyone trying to get their dental work done before the new insurance deductible started for 2010. The dentist rushed the procedure and accidentally injured me; but worst of all was that he ignored my complaints afterward and all my pleading for help with the pain for weeks afterward. I learned what a crazy and debilitating condition lingual nerve injury actually is. Many other innocent and trusting dental patients have been injured - let's hear YOUR story. 

    UPDATE- I've now been writing this blog now for over 3 years and there have been many tips, updates, and contributions from others who share a similar fate; you can link to and browse those additional articles on the right hand side of this page.  We also have a Facebook page, the address of which is mentioned in some of my later posts (2011-2012). Please feel free to comment here and send friend requests on FB.